I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
