My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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