There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
