i think my mom watched the whole time
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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