I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
