And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
