...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This is classic penis vs brain.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
