my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
