i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
