Sry I called you an 8
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she smelled like a LAN party
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
