Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
