I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
