i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
