i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize