Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
