worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize