can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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