Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize