Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You took a bar mat shot.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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