Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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