My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
