hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
