I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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