Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
