you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
