how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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