I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
