If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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