the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
