Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
