Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
