Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
