atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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