hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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