The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
