omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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