So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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