theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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