Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We need a shit load of segways right now
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
