I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize