are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
