did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
