I just threw up on my dentist
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
