Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
