It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
me + whiskey = a bad person
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
