i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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