You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
