:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize