I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
