Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
false alarm, still single
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
