quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
