I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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