My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
