what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
