Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
