It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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