Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
