FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
