I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
