found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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