I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize