never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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