And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
