i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize