:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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