He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
