I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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