idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
