He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
