maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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