new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I would fuck him just for his dog
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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