I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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