You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
