R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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