Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
