i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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