He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
