I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
