No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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