Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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