Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize