It's just like the Real World with babies
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
third nipple confirmed
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
