I hate all girls vehemently.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I deserve this hangover.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
