the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
